Programmer Jokes and Funny Facts

Funy Facts

Question Why are programmers using i,j,k,... as variables for for loops?

Answer In Fortran every variable was a real number except the variables i,j,k,l,m,n which are considered integers.

Question Why do programmers start counting from zero?

Answer If you want to access the first byte of a memory you have to use the pointer + 0.

Question Why has all codeeditors by default a limit of 80 character per line?

Answer Punchcard in the past had only space for a 80 characters. So it was a very hard limit historically and has sticked.

Engineers

Engineers (n.) Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. (i.e. wizard, magician)

Christmas and Halloween

Question Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Answer

• 31 Dec Christmas
• 25 Okt Halloween

10 Kind of People

Question There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Answer 0b10 = 2

Error Free Programs

Question There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

Answer There is no error free program, therefore the anwer is also wrong

Boolean Answer

Question The best thing about a Boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.

Answer Boolean = 0 or 1 only of by 1bit

Programmer Checks

Question A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

Answer Programmers can't make assumptions, they have to check everything

Debugging

Question Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.

Answer Debugging is removing bugs form a program. Bugs are hard to find like needles

HTML Tags

Question

Figure 1: Q: How to you annoy a web developer?

Answer HTML Tags are wrong DIV and SPAN means the same. Above code is wrong.

Teacher Punishement

Question

Figure 2: Teacher Punishement

Answer In this joke, his teacher probably gave him the punishment "Write 'I will not throw paper airplanes in class.' on the board 500 times."

#include <stdio.h>
int main(void)
{
  int count;
  for (count = 1; count <= 500; count++)
  printf(“I will not throw paper airplanes in class.”);
  return 0;
}

Accelerate a computer

Question The best method for accelerating a computer is the one that boosts it by \(9.8 \frac{m}{s^2}\).

Answer Let it drop. Earth gravity accelerates it by \(9.8 \frac{m}{s^2}\)

SQL Naming

Question

Figure 3: SQL Name

Answer This joke has to do with SQL, which are commands used to control databases as well as a common hack used against insecure sites, called SQL Injection.

Scripts Automation

Figure 4: Automation 1

Figure 5: Automation 2

Are you feeling ill?

Question

Figure 6: feeling a bit off

Answer One bit is the smallest dataunit. Plays on the double meaning of "a bit" (a bit or one bit (data)).

19 Jan 2038 at 3:14:07 AM

Question What about 19 Jan 2038 at 3:14:07 AM? Remember Y2K? There's another date like it.

Answer In Unix-like systems, time is measured as seconds since January 1, 1970. This time is often stored in a 32-bit signed integer. That means that dates can range between −2147483648 en 2147483647 seconds from 1970. So now you know what it is about 19 Jan 2038 at 3:14:07 AM, it's 2147483647 seconds after January 1, 1970!

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