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Soft skills

My short summary on how to apply the key elements from the book Soft Skills - The Software Developer's Life Manual by John Sonmez.

Treat Your Career Like a Business

  • Write a "business statement" for yourself: "I provide X value to Y type of clients/companies."
  • Example: "I provide scalable web applications and mentoring to fast-growing startups."
  • Update your CV, LinkedIn, and webpage to reflect your value.
  • Evaluate yearly whether you need new “products” (skills).
  • Keep a list of clients (employers/partners) and nurture those relationships.

Set Clear, Long-Term Goals

  • Define your 10-year target (one sentence).
  • Format: "By [date], I will be [specific role] at [type of company] earning [amount] because I'm known for [expertise]."
  • Break it down:
  • 3-year goal
  • 1-year goal
  • Quarterly goals
  • Weekly actions
  • Review goals every Sunday for 10 minutes.
  • Track progress in a simple tool (Notion, Obsidian, OneNote).

Improve People Skills

  • In every meeting:
  • Let the other person speak first.
  • Ask clarifying questions: "Can you help me understand..." "What would success look like for you..."
  • Mirror their priorities ("What matters most to them?").
  • Practice zero criticism: when you want to correct, ask a question instead.
  • Instead of: "That won't work because..."
  • Try: "What challenges do you foresee with that approach?"
  • Read (and apply) How to Win Friends and Influence People.
  • Once per week, do one positive interaction email/message.

Market Yourself

  • Pick one channel:
  • Blog, LinkedIn, YouTube, conference talks.
  • Produce one piece of content per week (short and simple).
  • Examples: 300-word blog post about a problem you solved, LinkedIn post sharing a lesson learned, 5-minute video explaining a concept.
  • Share your work publicly: projects, insights, slides.
  • Build an “expert sphere”: choose your niche and talk about it repeatedly.

Learn How to Learn

Follow the 10-step learning loop:

  • Define exactly what you want to learn
  • Research and gather materials
  • Create a learning plan (timeline: 2-4 weeks for most skills)
  • Learn basics quickly (20% of time)
  • Build a small project (practical application)
  • Deep dive into missing topics
  • Practice deliberately
  • Teach what you learned (blog, a colleague)
  • Repeat
  • Measure progress

Boost Productivity

  • Use Pomodoro (25 min focus => 5 min break).
  • Tools: Forest app, Toggl, simple timer
  • Break activities: stretch, walk, hydrate (avoid social media)
  • Create a fixed daily routine:
  • Morning = creative work
  • Afternoon = meetings
  • Avoid multitasking: close all tabs except the project you’re doing.
  • Start the day with a top 3 list:
  • “If I only finish these three tasks, today is a success.”
  • Every Friday: weekly review.

Prevent / Recover From Burnout

Warning signs to watch for:

  • Dreading work, constant fatigue, irritability, decreased productivity

Prevention & Recovery:

  • Reduce cognitive load - choose fewer goals.
  • Introduce minimal fitness (walking, stretching).
  • Create hard barriers:
  • No work after 19:00
  • No email on weekends
  • Find purpose: reconnect your work to what matters to you.
  • Take one full day off per week with no obligations.
  • Rate your energy levels 1-10 weekly - track patterns
  • If symptoms persist > 2 weeks, consider professional help

Build Wealth Early

  • Negotiate salary with each job change.
  • Research market rates on Glassdoor, Levels.fyi
  • Ask for 15-20% more than current salary when switching
  • Avoid all debt except mortgage.
  • Pay yourself first: automatic savings/investment (10–20%).
  • Invest long-term (real estate or index funds).
  • Track your net worth every month.
  • Tools: Mint, YNAB, or simple spreadsheet

Build a Winning Mindset

  • Practice Stoicism:
  • Control what you can
  • Accept what you cannot
  • Train discomfort
  • Reprogram your self-image:
  • Daily affirmations
  • Act “as if” you already are the person you want to be
  • Do one uncomfortable thing per day.
  • Reflect daily (journaling).

Strengthen Relationships

  • Schedule weekly time for partner/family.
  • Give appreciation regularly (verbal or written).
  • Use the assume positive intent rule.
  • When in conflict: listen => repeat back => respond calmly.

Quick Reference Cheat Sheet

Weekly Habits to Start:

  1. Week 1-2: Daily top 3 list + Pomodoro technique
  2. Week 3-4: Practice people skills (ask questions first)
  3. Week 5-6: Create one piece of content weekly
  4. Week 7-8: 10-minute Sunday goal review

Monthly Tracking:

  • Net worth calculation
  • Energy levels (burnout check)
  • Goal progress review
  • Content creation streak

Essential Tools:

  • Pomodoro: Forest app, Toggl
  • Finance: Mint, YNAB
  • Learning: Notion, Obsidian
  • Networking: LinkedIn, Twitter